On the Verge. . .

16 Jun

Next week, we will be heading to the TPR trial for our foster son.  For those non-fostering folks out there, this is the trial to Terminate the Parental Rights for his biological family.  We are literally on the verge of deciding how open his, hopefully inevitable, adoption will be.  At lunch today, Alex visited me at work, and we sat in the staff lounge tossing out questions like. . .

Is one visit a year enough?

Two or three e-mails a year with pictures and updates?

When he visits his family, do we ask them to call him by his new name?  Or do we let them use the name that they gave him?  (We’ve had him since he was 6 weeks, and he’s still very young, so yes, we are going to give him a new name.)

We definitely want our little man to know that he’s adopted.  We want him to know his biological family. . . but we want it all to happen without getting caught up in a whirlwind of drama. . . We want to know that things will go well during visits, that his family will actually show up for them if we plan them, that everyone will handle it with grace and maturity. . . That openness will be an easy thing. . . but there’s just no way of knowing, is there?  You just make the plans that you can, put forth the effort, and hope that as he grows older, he understands that all we’ve ever wanted is the best for him.

 

No Bohns About It
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